About Scarlet Kinney & The Standing Bear ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In July of 1988, I survived a sudden, shamanic initiation trial by fire during a propane explosion in which I was severely burned. In response to the trauma I was experiencing, my spirit left my body, and fled towards the relief of death. That journey was entirely peaceful as I floated serenely through a vast, dark space towards an arching doorway through which brilliant light was shining. I calmly accepted death, which seemed preferable to dealing with the horrific trauma my body was suffering.
My way towards death was suddenly blocked, however, by five large, looming shapes. Having been raised Catholic, at first I assumed they were angels of some kind, but as I gazed at them in wonder, their indistinct shapes slowly coalesced into the forms of huge grizzly bear spirits. The largest of them, who later identified himself to me as Standing Bear, Chief of the Bear Spirit Clan, spoke, and as he did, I recognized him as someone once known, but long forgotten. He asked me to "return to the body", as there was a "work" his clan wished me to do for them.
From the depths of my being came my answer, without thought or conflict. I said "Yes. Yes, I will return to the body and do the work you're asking me to do."
He replied that in return, he and his four helpers would facilitate my healing from the severe burns I was sustaining. Then he leaned towards me, and pressing his forhead against mine, somehow transmitted from his consciousness into mine what I could only identify at the time as a long series of fast-moving, densely compressed images. He then asked me to look down at my body, which was trapped in the inferno far below us. As I did so, he touched my heart. At his touch, I felt a profound compassion for the body's suffering that mysteriously compelled me towards the body at a very high rate of speed, literally slamming me back into it.
I got myself out of the fire and into a shower in another room, to try and put out the flames, then ran from the building, stripped all of my clothing off, as I wasn't sure I had gotten all the flames out, and ran naked down the street, into my neighbor's house and upstairs, where I turned the cold water on and stood under it, trying to quench the fire that was consuming me.
Thus began my journey into the realm of shamanic power and healing. Standing Bear and his four helpers remained visible to me throughout the next months as I endured the painful healing process in a burn unit, touching me, moving their hands over me, chanting, their great hearts beating in unison like a great drum, soothing me. My recovery was remarkably fast, given the seriousness of the burns I had suffered. I attribute that remarkably fast physical recovery to the healing efforts of Standing Bear and his helpers.
Over the two decades since then, I have done my best to honor the pledge I made to Standing Bear during those crucial few moments when I first encountered him, while out of my body. The pledge involved using my skills as an artist and writer to offer others glimpses of shamanic reality, and to bring forth a new shamanic path for women that was encoded within the many images he transmitted to me. Over the years, those images have slowly unfolded and become part of my conscious awareness. Some of them are paintings, some tales and stories. A great many of them organized themselves into the feminist shamanic teachings I now offer women.
My journey was initially fraught with vulnerability, difficulty, conflict, and self-doubt, as I had absolutely no frame of reference for understanding what had happened to me. But it has also been rich with experiences of power and healing, journeys of great beauty and of potent, numinous dreams and visions that have helped sustain me throughout the most difficult times.
During this journey, I have had two Native American teachers, both women. Unfortunately, at the time I encountered my first teacher, I was in a state of extreme, childlike vulnerability and trust, having come so newly back to everday consciousness following the nearly overwhelming power of the visionary states that followed my initiation trial. I was therefore unable to discern or correctly interpret and act upon early signs that her motives for teaching white women were tainted with hatred towards my race for what her ancestors had suffered during colonialization, and what she herself had suffered in her own life. The resulting abuse she directed at me had far ranging consequences in every area of my life, and were so damaging that for a time I considered giving up my commitment to honoring my shamanic calling. I managed to survive the aftermath of that relationship, however, and continued on.
I have had a very different relationship with my present mentor, a spiritual elder from one of the Maine tribes, who, although sharing the tragic history of her people with my first teacher, nevertheless has healed herself of the wounds she carries, to become the most loving person I have ever met, and my most trusted guide. I have a deep sisterly relationship with her that has healed many of the wounds I suffered at the hands of my first teacher. I think it's important to mention these things so that those of you who may be seeking a shamanic teacher within Native American culture can be aware of and prepared to avoid some of the pitfalls that you may encounter. Do not place your trust blindly in any teacher, ever. Observe, be aware, hold back, take your time to learn whether or not you and the person you are considering studying with are truly compatible, and withhold trust until you have a genuine basis in physical reality, gained over time, for trusting her. If you are a woman, especially a western woman, you should not study with a male shamanic teacher, as that relationship will necessarily be fraught with issues due to patriarchal influences upon neoshamanic consciousness.
Now, at last, I am prepared to offer to others the full scope of what was gifted to me by Standing Bear on that fateful long-ago day. Some of those gifts are offered through this web site, and others through my art and writing sites, to which this site is linked on the home page.
I hope that you are inspired by my story and by my work to remember who you are; to remember what your sacred responsibilities as a woman have always been, and still are; to find within yourself the strength to act upon those responsibilities, for our Mother the Earth is in great distress. The indignities and outrages to which Earth is daily being subjected are echoed daily in abusive actions towards the women who are manifestations of her sacred Self. To heal the Earth, we must first heal ourselves. Helping women remember how to do that by means of feminist shamanic practices is at the heart of all of my work.
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